keyboard warriors

It had been weeks right? Busy is the right word to describe everything now. This is the only posting where I didn't go home in the middle of it. Bertahan sampai menangis-nangis rindu mama. Tons of commitments need my greatest effort and attention. Study group thrice weekly for the incoming final MBBS professional exam including weekend. And surely with the workloads of current posting, with all those case presentations, seminars, logbook and what not.

Last week I got a text from a friend asking for my availability for a simple meetup. Sorry my dear, I can't really find a date for you yet. And today my high-school kakak dorm asked my availability for a gathering. I've to throw tons of sorry to everyone for this unavailability. I'm apologizing peeps.

105 days left before the final MBBS professional exam begins.  The questions can range from the commonest to the rarest disease on earth you can find. This is a serious matter. I won't sacrifice many hearts if it's not as serious as it sounds. I won't even sacrifice my own if it doesn't sound important as it actually is.

And what's more serious that the questions? It's about self-preparing to become a doctor. I know I'm not dealing with any simple things. I know I'm not dealing with a machine nor a robot. Seconds of delay in emergency cases can lead to permanent disappointment. And yes it's not as simple as the theory sounds because each person is different to others. So yeah that's it! Please make doa for us :)

I wish I can write more but I know I've to stop here. Again soon :)

kangaroo mother care

I was amazed by today's class on neonatology. The physiologic changes that were perfectly designed for newborns to ensure survival in extrauterine life.

And this kangaroo mother care technique as well.

the force

The external force that keep her moving forward. Five months needs the best struggle. Semoga Tuhan beri kejayaan.

Princess, keep this study pace. You're doing good and focusing well now.

year three syndrome

I just finished my first case presentation and surely it was as bad as any first presenter would do I thought. No it wasn't my turn actually. I was sabotaged by one of the group member who actually got the first turn. And yes, no one would put their hands up for the first turn, so do I. Because the first presenter is the one who'll make all the mistakes that others can learn the correct way. I don't fight much with people, so, never mind, I just proceed, made mistakes and learn so that I can do better next time.

So here comes the story while me was presenting, in a library. Suddenly the supervisor asked, "where's your whitecoat?" I thought I do not need to wear it in the library. So I have to, right?

"Do you know that we have third year syndrome in our country? *she's a non-Malaysian. That is the moment when third year medical student proudly put on their whitecoat and stethoscope and walked around in the ward, looking at patients, greeting and smiling, because they thought that as they entered clinical year, they're going to be doctors soon *at least three years of practical actually. They're so proud of their whitecoat and will keep it with them for always."

"And different thing happened to final year medical student. They're not thinking of becoming a doctor, they forgot their whitecoat and most of the apparatus that they should have in their pockets. Their main concern is about knowledge only. Yes, they're afraid if their knowledge isn't enough to treat patients later. They keep on studying and forgetting and worrying of graduating. They're under mental stress."

And doctor, yes you're right. That's what happened to me now. I do afraid if I can't treat patient accordingly later. I do afraid if I can't meet the KKM's expectation later. I do afraid a lot if my knowledge is not enough as houseman later.

And I believe. These are the reasons for the tears I shed at most of the days and the reasons for becoming self-neglected. I woke up everyday with pressure inside. Time is moving.

This photo was taken during my year three surgical posting, And the photo in previous post was taken during year three paediatrics posting. Hey obviously I have that so-called year three syndrome. LOL.