alone and survival

Alhamdulillah, I passed my Medical Posting exam, the one that I cried over for days and nights because of the pain and burden of it. And guess what? I cried again after I got the result, I just don't know how to thank Him more.

Bantuan Dia selalu datang dalam bentuk yang tak disangka-sangka. I'm the happiest person, God :)

Currently working for my second last posting, Paediatrics. Well, it's all about cute kids around. By looking at the responsibility a mother bears, I believed I'm not ready enough for that kind of task, perhaps that's the reason why He keep me single till now.

We always thought that our plan is the best, but we forget that we've the best of the best planner.

May He grant me the strength to finish what I've started six years ago. Alone and survival kan? Just five months more dear self, embrace yourself.

wait for me to come home

I've had this fluctuating fever since after Chinese New Year until now. And today, my soles felt cold like an ice. She said, "when people are approaching death..." Gosh! Not now girl. I'm not yet ready. Too many things to be done. Dear self, get well soon please. I need a normal healthy life with healthy body, mind and soul.

So what's up with today? The questions are seriously tough. Just pray for the best. "Faiza 'azamta fatawakkal" right?

Am missing home like crazy! Counting days to go home; 28th February 2016.

when tomorrow comes

Tomorrow, 22nd of February 2016, final exam for medical posting. I'm exhausted. I'm tired. I had lost my motivational support to keep on moving.

How to move further like this?

Hey my dear. you've gone this far. You've spent four and half years in medical school, why should you give up when you're approaching the end-point?

Each of us has a story that could break someone's heart. Despite the grief and unfairness, we keep going. There are chores to be done. There are people who still need our care. There is life to be led - Aldra Robinson.

life never treat everyone the same

I have this one close friend, but not many of our other friends know that we're close with each other and we share our top secrets together. So, I've to keep her as a secret even it's in here.

There's one night while we're having dinner together, suddenly she tell me she's uncertain either or not to proceed with her engagement and marriage. I startle for a while. Hey girl, what comes to your mind out of a sudden?

I still remember the story of a few months back when a doctor proposed her for a marriage but she refused because she stubbornly wanna marry this one guy. Now, when this same guy make a move to marry her. she falls into confusion.

I'm single and I don't really know how to encounter this sort of feeling that she had. I've never been put in her place. But I try and calmly talk to her. So I make my own conclusion, it's about commitment.

She's a student, her father is unemployed, her mother had passed away and she's the second out of many siblings. So what do you think? What should I tell her?

First, please proceed. Don't delay what's good.

Second, he's a good guy I believe. If you lose him today, there's no promise that you'll have him again later. He's ready to accept you for who you are. He never look at what you don't have but he appreciates what you have.

Third, don't get influence by your surrounding. Yes you'll always get fascinated by your other girlfriends' grand wedding with at least three dresses, but trust me that's not what's compulsory. Just proceed with whatever things that you can afford. There's no need to stress yourself out just because of simple things like that.

Come on girls, life never treat everyone the same. There's good and bad, poor and rich, smart and clumsy, pretty and ugly, healthy and sick, success and fail, and etc. So don't compare, it's unfair for ourselves and everyone else.

Most importantly always keep that strong faith in Him. He never serve us with anything that's unacceptable to our mind and soul. Be positive.

'Selalu bersangka baik dengan Dia.'

And keep on praying. May He keep the hearts of the both of you together because it's He who flip your heart and direct it according to His will. Doa is a weapon for true believers.