tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-51282884164131859592024-03-21T20:55:43.588+08:00BLESSING IN DISGUISEdi sepanjang perjalanan aku tenang bersama janji Tuhan, walau sekadar dengan satu janji kematianmudrikahibrahimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593959009923772066noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128288416413185959.post-52015160121237597122016-04-14T18:14:00.001+08:002016-04-14T18:14:54.931+08:00keyboard warriors<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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It had been weeks right? Busy is the right word to describe everything now. This is the only posting where I didn't go home in the middle of it. <i>Bertahan sampai menangis-nangis rindu mama.</i> Tons of commitments need my greatest effort and attention. Study group thrice weekly for the incoming final MBBS professional exam including weekend. And surely with the workloads of current posting, with all those case presentations, seminars, logbook and what not.<br />
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Last week I got a text from a friend asking for my availability for a simple meetup. Sorry my dear, I can't really find a date for you yet. And today my high-school <i>kakak dorm</i> asked my availability for a gathering. I've to throw tons of sorry to everyone for this unavailability. I'm apologizing peeps.<br />
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105 days left before the final MBBS professional exam begins. The questions can range from the commonest to the rarest disease on earth you can find. This is a serious matter. I won't sacrifice many hearts if it's not as serious as it sounds. I won't even sacrifice my own if it doesn't sound important as it actually is.<br />
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And what's more serious that the questions? It's about self-preparing to become a doctor. I know I'm not dealing with any simple things. I know I'm not dealing with a machine nor a robot. Seconds of delay in emergency cases can lead to permanent disappointment. And yes it's not as simple as the theory sounds because each person is different to others. So yeah that's it! Please make doa for us :)<br />
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I wish I can write more but I know I've to stop here. Again soon :)<br />
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mudrikahibrahimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593959009923772066noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128288416413185959.post-84625047804619537982016-03-23T22:44:00.001+08:002016-03-23T22:44:27.739+08:00kangaroo mother care<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I was amazed by today's class on neonatology. The physiologic changes that were perfectly designed for newborns to ensure survival in extrauterine life.<br />
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And this kangaroo mother care technique as well.<br />
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mudrikahibrahimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593959009923772066noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128288416413185959.post-17854781052234646042016-03-12T08:59:00.001+08:002016-03-12T08:59:17.790+08:00the force<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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The external force that keep her moving forward. Five months needs the best struggle. Semoga Tuhan beri kejayaan.<br />
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Princess, keep this study pace. You're doing good and focusing well now.<br />
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mudrikahibrahimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593959009923772066noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128288416413185959.post-69491496739301440602016-03-09T18:40:00.000+08:002016-03-09T18:40:05.730+08:00year three syndrome<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I just finished my first case presentation and surely it was as bad as any first presenter would do I thought. No it wasn't my turn actually. I was sabotaged by one of the group member who actually got the first turn. And yes, no one would put their hands up for the first turn, so do I. Because the first presenter is the one who'll make all the mistakes that others can learn the correct way. I don't fight much with people, so, never mind, I just proceed, made mistakes and learn so that I can do better next time.<br />
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So here comes the story while me was presenting, in a library. Suddenly the supervisor asked, "where's your whitecoat?" I thought I do not need to wear it in the library. So I have to, right?<br />
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"Do you know that we have third year syndrome in our country? *she's a non-Malaysian. That is the moment when third year medical student proudly put on their whitecoat and stethoscope and walked around in the ward, looking at patients, greeting and smiling, because they thought that as they entered clinical year, they're going to be doctors soon *at least three years of practical actually. They're so proud of their whitecoat and will keep it with them for always."<br />
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"And different thing happened to final year medical student. They're not thinking of becoming a doctor, they forgot their whitecoat and most of the apparatus that they should have in their pockets. Their main concern is about knowledge only. Yes, they're afraid if their knowledge isn't enough to treat patients later. They keep on studying and forgetting and worrying of graduating. They're under mental stress."<br />
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And doctor, yes you're right. That's what happened to me now. I do afraid if I can't treat patient accordingly later. I do afraid if I can't meet the KKM's expectation later. I do afraid a lot if my knowledge is not enough as houseman later.<br />
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And I believe. These are the reasons for the tears I shed at most of the days and the reasons for becoming self-neglected. I woke up everyday with pressure inside. Time is moving.<br />
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This photo was taken during my year three surgical posting, And the photo in previous post was taken during year three paediatrics posting. Hey obviously I have that so-called year three syndrome. LOL.<br />
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mudrikahibrahimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593959009923772066noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128288416413185959.post-69081825704116279752016-03-09T08:00:00.001+08:002016-03-09T08:00:05.338+08:00alone and survival<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Alhamdulillah, I passed my Medical Posting exam, the one that I cried over for days and nights because of the pain and burden of it. And guess what? I cried again after I got the result, I just don't know how to thank Him more.<br />
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<i>Bantuan Dia selalu datang dalam bentuk yang tak disangka-sangka.</i> I'm the happiest person, God :)<br />
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Currently working for my second last posting, Paediatrics. Well, it's all about cute kids around. By looking at the responsibility a mother bears, I believed I'm not ready enough for that kind of task, perhaps that's the reason why He keep me single till now.<br />
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We always thought that our plan is the best, but we forget that we've the best of the best planner.<br />
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May He grant me the strength to finish what I've started six years ago. Alone and survival kan? Just five months more dear self, embrace yourself.<br />
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mudrikahibrahimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593959009923772066noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128288416413185959.post-80388675539126673162016-02-22T20:26:00.001+08:002016-02-22T20:26:28.104+08:00wait for me to come home<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I've had this fluctuating fever since after Chinese New Year until now. And today, my soles felt cold like an ice. She said, "when people are approaching death..." Gosh! Not now girl. I'm not yet ready. Too many things to be done. Dear self, get well soon please. I need a normal healthy life with healthy body, mind and soul.<br />
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So what's up with today? The questions are seriously tough. Just pray for the best. "Faiza 'azamta fatawakkal" right?<br />
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Am missing home like crazy! Counting days to go home; 28th February 2016.<br />
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mudrikahibrahimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593959009923772066noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128288416413185959.post-10208100542656901812016-02-21T14:39:00.002+08:002016-02-21T14:39:52.820+08:00when tomorrow comes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Tomorrow, 22nd of February 2016, final exam for medical posting. I'm exhausted. I'm tired. I had lost my motivational support to keep on moving.<br />
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How to move further like this?<br />
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Hey my dear. you've gone this far. You've spent four and half years in medical school, why should you give up when you're approaching the end-point?<br />
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Each of us has a story that could break someone's heart. Despite the grief and unfairness, we keep going. There are chores to be done. There are people who still need our care. There is life to be led - Aldra Robinson.<br />
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mudrikahibrahimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593959009923772066noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128288416413185959.post-55393067043194719672016-02-12T11:00:00.000+08:002016-02-12T11:00:15.614+08:00life never treat everyone the same<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I have this one close friend, but not many of our other friends know that we're close with each other and we share our top secrets together. So, I've to keep her as a secret even it's in here.<br />
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There's one night while we're having dinner together, suddenly she tell me she's uncertain either or not to proceed with her engagement and marriage. I startle for a while. Hey girl, what comes to your mind out of a sudden?<br />
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I still remember the story of a few months back when a doctor proposed her for a marriage but she refused because she stubbornly wanna marry this one guy. Now, when this same guy make a move to marry her. she falls into confusion.<br />
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I'm single and I don't really know how to encounter this sort of feeling that she had. I've never been put in her place. But I try and calmly talk to her. So I make my own conclusion, it's about commitment.<br />
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She's a student, her father is unemployed, her mother had passed away and she's the second out of many siblings. So what do you think? What should I tell her?<br />
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First, please proceed. Don't delay what's good.<br />
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Second, he's a good guy I believe. If you lose him today, there's no promise that you'll have him again later. He's ready to accept you for who you are. He never look at what you don't have but he appreciates what you have.<br />
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Third, don't get influence by your surrounding. Yes you'll always get fascinated by your other girlfriends' grand wedding with at least three dresses, but trust me that's not what's compulsory. Just proceed with whatever things that you can afford. There's no need to stress yourself out just because of simple things like that.<br />
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Come on girls, life never treat everyone the same. There's good and bad, poor and rich, smart and clumsy, pretty and ugly, healthy and sick, success and fail, and etc. So don't compare, it's unfair for ourselves and everyone else.<br />
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Most importantly always keep that strong faith in Him. He never serve us with anything that's unacceptable to our mind and soul. Be positive.<br />
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<i>'Selalu bersangka baik dengan Dia.'</i><br />
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And keep on praying. May He keep the hearts of the both of you together because it's He who flip your heart and direct it according to His will. Doa is a weapon for true believers.<br />
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mudrikahibrahimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593959009923772066noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128288416413185959.post-56725922210146094722016-02-10T11:54:00.001+08:002016-02-10T11:54:13.188+08:00at own risk discharge<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I just came back from my hometown and I didn't feel good now with fever, headache and lethargy. I left yesterday with a very huge disappointment and how I wished I can stay home to give everything a try again. Because patient is my passion.<br />
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On Sunday, I was informed by my younger brother that one of our acquaintance had suddenly developed abnormal behavior. A seventeen-years old Muslim lady. Previously, she was an over-introvert girl, didn't talked too much and had a very few friends only. She was always scolded and rebuked by many people but she won't fight back. Naive is the best word to describe her perhaps.<br />
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On Monday morning, I paid her a visit, talking to her and her parents. She didn't sleep. She talked a lot non-sensely. Sometimes she talked to non-existent. What's worse than that? She didn't recognize people. She tended to label people with any characters known-to-her like Dajjal, Abu Jahal, al-Kazab, Prophet Muhammad SAW, Prophet Isa AS, Upin & Ipin and with some other public figures like Siti Nurhaliza, Iqram Dinzly and Mira Lyana.<br />
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And surprisingly the content of her speech sounded like a grudge that she kept against everyone who used to bully, scold and rebuke her. She complained about every disrespectful things people did to her. The one that actually made her down and sliced her heart into pieces I believed.<br />
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My very own theory would suggest that she's depressed. She kept all the tense with her, she didn't have the courage to fight back, she had no good coping mechanism, she had no escapism with high expressed emotions (EE) family members around and finally she couldn't take it more that she burst. I tried to make her parents understand the situation and console them for hospital management because currently they're seeking help from shaman for the cure. I respected their choice as long as it's in line with Islamic practice.<br />
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If you don't know me well, you won't think that I'll fight for this naive girl's right to be treated. Come on guys, she is a seventeen years old girl. She has future and a very long journey ahead. If she's a seventy years old lady, it's a different story. Don't deny her right to get proper bio-psychosocial-spiritual treatment provided by the government.<br />
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So, on Tuesday, at 11.00 a.m, together with my younger brother and my friend with luggage inside the car-boot, we started the journey to Kuantan. Before we left Kuala Krai, I met my uncle and we paid that seventeen years old naive girl a visit again. After a few minutes of talking, suddenly her mother agreed to bring her to the hospital.<br />
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To make it short, we've to delay our departure time and made my younger brother's friend waited for us for hours somewhere in Pasir Puteh, that finally his parents had to send him to Kuala Krai. I spent hours for that girl for her blood and urine results which turned out to be normal. Well that's good. And another hours accompanied her waiting for a specialist from Kota Bharu while her parents left to home.<br />
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What's the very huge disappointment about? When the specialist was about to arrive that her parents came and suddenly request for AOR discharge. I was clueless and speechless. What's more frustrating is that they said her daughter 'kena buatan orang' and would opt for shaman. I never stopped them or anyone else from seeking traditional medicine but please be considerate towards the unhealthy. They deserve proper treatment.<br />
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I learnt; it's hard to educate people and influence one's belief.<br />
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Finally I left Kuala Krai at 5.45 p.m. (six hours delay) with a very huge disappointment and tense inside. At 6.00 p.m. I received a call from my uncle to inform me that in two days' time, the same specialist will come again and will personally pay that girl a visit at her home. What a relief guys. That's passion. The passion to give proper treatment and to witness the unhealthy one gets better.<br />
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Even superheroes bleed and cry. But they never give up on their passion.<br />
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mudrikahibrahimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593959009923772066noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128288416413185959.post-61081892974789555892015-12-17T14:33:00.000+08:002016-02-05T05:49:13.877+08:00act accordingly<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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On 07/12/2015 (Monday) at around 6pm, something bad happened to me. I won't tell much about it, yeah, I'm not the kind of person, but of course, there's something significant to learn from. It's beyond what's acceptable to me and I believed to everyone else as well. How to know that it's unacceptable? When they're abusing your right, it's out of your willingness and that thing disturbs you throughout the days and nights either physically or mentally or both. So, when you fall into this kind of situation, act accordingly, Don't just see and simply accept what they did. Do something in return. Not to say that, you've to become wild and attack them, but yes go through the proper channel since we live in country with rules and regulations.<br />
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Okay back to my story, as days pass by, this issue do affect me a lot. I was unable to sleep and kept on thinking about it again and again. As I reached my limit, yes I know I need to do something. I might always look innocent as if I won't fight back for things that I want in life, but to certain extent, I can't just simply see and get affected by it. And I'm grateful for the action that I took. So, I went to make police report and alhamdulillah all those people who've annoyed me agreed to settle this soon. Lessons learnt!<br />
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We're about to reach 2020 but obviously we're still lacking in morality and values, People would do anything to fulfill their needs and perhaps to the extent of annoying others' rights. Being nice and polite is what's taught by the Prophet SAW, but in certain situation, learn how to be strict and protect your right. Be assertive through the right channel.<br />
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mudrikahibrahimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593959009923772066noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128288416413185959.post-74208607580257268692015-12-12T10:53:00.000+08:002016-02-05T05:49:03.064+08:00medical: yes or no<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I was called to jot down the changes made by JPA, SPA and KKM regarding the intake for medicine course in the future. And yeah everything that I'll write here are based on what I know and what the people around me experiences. You can always ask the respective people-in-charge for further clarification,</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">First, regarding the scholarship. As far from what I know, starting this year, 2015, new intake in medical course won't directly received scholarship. You have to apply for JPA scholarship after you've done your first semester exam excellently. So, while waiting, you have to support yourself and your study either by using PaMa's or perhaps PTPTN. The thing is, I would admit that it is not easy to score in medicine. We use the minus-marking scheme, in which your mark will be deducted for every wrong answer you gave. So, two things will happen, either you'll score excellently and get your scholarship or you'll have to get support from PaMa's or PTPTN for the rest of your study. Weighing the period of study, six or seven years depending on university course (mine is seven years), so do you think it's worth it?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Second, regarding the intake for housemanship. Some significant changes were already made by SPA effective from August 2015. First, you've to register everything on your own as opposed to what had been practiced before in which university student affairs will do everything for you. Once your registration is complete then only you'll be called for an interview. For an application to be completed, you've to have convocation scroll with you which means that you won't be called for an interview before your convocation day. And as everyone knows, your convocation day would always be around October or November. As opposed to what had been practiced before, the candidate will go for an interview before they graduate from the university. Longer months of waiting for the new intake I believed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Third, after you go for an interview, you'll be graded as pass or fail. If you fail, you've to apply for another interview and wait again for next interview session and as far from what I had been told, the interview session will only be held once in two months time. So, higher probability to remain jobless longer. And for remarks, the interview scoring system is not based on your CGPA because different university have different CGPA system, so the interview grading would be based on interview itself. It's about your confidence level, how do you actually speak and present yourself in front of people.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Actually, there are many more significant changes made by the KKM itself for the next level of employment. I just write down things that have something to do with my current situation. The higher probability to remain jobless longer. So, for my juniors or anyone who're thinking of medicine as your field of choice, think again. It is not that I'm discouraging all of you, but think deeply before you admit yourself to this field. If you really have big interest in this field, just proceed, considering the pros and cons of it. If you think that you're not really into medicine and all those stuff, better opt for another course that suit your interest. Humbly, medicine is interesting, you met people, you learn many things about life but it consumed much of your time and energy. So, if you think that you're not really into medicine, then think again before submit your application. Good luck!</span><br />
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mudrikahibrahimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593959009923772066noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5128288416413185959.post-16194169299177363682015-11-15T19:51:00.002+08:002015-11-15T19:51:29.225+08:00friendship<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">She had been witnessing the sorrow in my eyes, the tears that I shed alone and the pain that I kept to myself. She then slowly came approaching me, "do you miss anyone?" Reluctantly I replied, "yes I do. What should I do when I miss someone that I shouldn't?" "Listen to this zikr, it works for me. Hopefully it works for you too."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">I quickly browse through youtube searching for that right zikr. Frankly it works, and absolutely any zikr will surely work. Because that's His promise;</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;"><i><b>"Those who believe and whose hearts find satisfaction in the remembrance of Allah, for without doubt, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction." (13:28)</b></i></span></div>
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Apparently, everyone knows this. We've been reminded by many people, ustaz-ustazah and strangers out there of the same thing again and again. But how many of those reminder do actually touch our hearts?</div>
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Sometimes it only takes the right person to tell us the right thing at the right moment to actually move our hearts. And if we find that person, keep him/her with us for always.</div>
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<i><b>The Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him) was reportedly asked: “Which of our companions are best?” He replied: “One whose appearance reminds you of God, and whose speech increases you in knowledge, and whose actions remind you of the hereafter.”</b></i></div>
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mudrikahibrahimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10593959009923772066noreply@blogger.com0